Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So it has come to a small rural community?

To: okyeame@googlegroups.com

2105hrs Tuesday December 30, 3008

Wonders will never End!!

After a marathon "keep quiet, shut up and watch me check the figures" meeting that had one side looking to see more numbers flow its way, and the other side saying what has come is enough, Ghanaians finally got to hear the most eagerly awaited voice this side of the God's kingdom. a weary voice it was, one who had probably forgotten how smooth his resident dictator''s face feels like; certainly a man who had not eaten from his house plate for nearly 40 hours since Sunday. And what a message he brought to us. This was like the Murder on the Orient Express suspense.

Oh by the way, just wait a minute for me please. in the background, come and see verbal pugilistics from insider politicians and sympathisers.. no that appears too strong an expression. but how else can you express a situation where people appear to have dug their heels in on an issue. But wha-aaat!!, Opanin Afari-Djan who had on the 7th of December put it out that no one can tell him which law could force him to talk quickly decided to put a calming balm on all Ghanaians in the most deftest of presentations and with the bravest of presence. The man don fear whu!!

Do you remember that I stated sometime ago ( see my Bla-Elik election diary at http://bla-elik.blogspot.com ) that Wofa Afalijan did not like standing to speak...I have researched-aaaaaaaaa and found out that there is something in the soup. I am sure you want to know. I won't tell you but I am willing to leak the rumour (I beg, its only a rumour-ooooooo, my mouth is not a ballot box!!) that his presentation format has been determined to be most effective way of presenting "erection lesurts" to an expectant population especially when there are more mobile phones acting as microphones than radio/tv station microphones. I cannot understand for the life of me understand why the media or even the EC cannot fix some equipment that can serve as a distribution console so my Wofa has to sit behind a table where we only see his grey hair and very little of his eyes when he speaks to the nation. to make it worse, the only time I decided to see TV small, my cameraman may have been too short so I had the privilege of seeing an canopy of microphones. shame on the TV station

Back to the matter, Wofa AfariDjan confirmed that we should despair no more. we can start growing our nails. we can even use some nail extensions to make them look nice, if we can afford the manicure (and/or pedicure for those who chewed their toe nails as well). he said, massa, I call them for bedroom, I take cane lash them four four well well, then I asked them to wipe their eyes with their trouser pocket and their elbows. The I ask them to follow me here. but before we came out, each one said, Please sah, this boy threw the stone first, the other one said, no Sah, he picked up the stone first so I suspected that he will throw, so I threw then he threw mine. bla bala bla bala bla!! Haba. keep quiet, you think this place is a kelewele centre..? or do you think you are talking to your grandmother? as a teacher, my motto is Evidence, that is why my nickname is Commissioner, take me play!!

and so it came to pass that Wofa AfariDjan said that I have been shown some evidence for some place.. I am waiting for the other boy to bring his evidence if he has. when I get it, I shall investigate and then i shall see the merit as to who threw the stone first.. but you are all small boys... I shall also look at how big your stone is, and you too I shall see how far you threw your stone, then I shall see who shall be punished less .. but in the meantime, for disturbing my ears, take this four four lashes each.. Sanmia!!!


What a deflation!! We thought this was going to be, and what a deflation it was seen to have been...!! but what a relief it was for some people..!! why, Because the announcement by Afari-Djan immediately also had the very solid effect of defusing all tension in town today. what do you say, when business is abruptly suspended across town with banks closing around 1:30 - 2:30pm, shops shut down, huge traffic jams of folks going home early, reports of steamed and charged boys rehearsing etc, rumours upon rumours of nasty things from certain quarters planned.. Shieeeee, today was wild paaaaaa.. some small business koraa that I was looking forward to knack today got truncated. but the real beneficiary is my resident dictator who benefits from an early arrival of he truant roommate.

Things have calmed down, because Mr Evidence had said yesterday or so that if it was necessary, he would do Tain to conclude the ballot on Friday to determine how the 23,000 difference can be resolved with a special Bla-Elik equation: Mills (M+X) = C + NANA(N+Y).

Under the scenario available, the only way Nana can win the presidential ballot is to make such progress in Tain such that Mills' present M votes must be reduced by X such that Nana's present N votes must be increased by Y such as to neutralise the present difference ( C the constant) of 23,000 PLUS if the credible evidence either party presents to Wofa AfariDjan would add to or subtract from any candidate's votes. What a day this day has been!!

Referee no afa ball no ko fie.. Our dear referee whistled in the 85th minute and took the ball home. But I tell you, the man did Ghanaians a big favour today, not announcing the results but at least telling Ghanaians the scores SO FAR!! AfariDjan masterfully behaved like Joe Lartey of old. Onukpa, where are you? AfariDjan , when I looked at him using my brand new homeland security x-ray glasses had his eyes red with lack of sleep, no trembling fingers, but his hands were curled like he had just used the school abaa to lash the boys .. and from his office watching the traffic pass by the mental hospital told himself and his team that people, if we let these boys and girls lose on the streets today, they will say we have done this or that.. so okay, lets give them the bitter medicine today and leave the matter in the hands of Tain.

Like I had noted two days ago, Tain did not vote because of problems in the aftermath of Dec 7th parliamentary vote had ended up with the EC offices there being burnt down, then on Dec 28th, their electoral materials were found not to be enough so the parties decided not to start at all and had the materials returned to Sunyani.

One Touch, Tain becomes like Tuobodom.. people are suddenly drawing maps of Ghana - dont worry about the butchering of the Ghana map.. people are speculating about what the capital is? is it a district? or just a constituency within a district? is the place north of or where relative to Sunyani....? are they NDC believers or NPP sympathisers (pun intended), who is their chief? has President ever gone there before? come and see, how a place can get so popular simply because of Wofa AfariDjan. The sole contender decider out of 230 constituencies. we even wonder, what language they speak there? Ghanaians need to spend some time to learn about Ghana. Hmmmm. Tain, by the way is north of wenchi in the general area of the new Bui Dam project. the constituency sort of sits between Wenchi and the Bamboi, just in case you are using a non-detailed map of Ghana

Tain is now the centrepiece of our country tonight. I am sure each polling station on Friday, January 2, 2008 when the citizens of Tain cast their ballot, will be filled with every NPP minister, DCEs, party big wigs, NDC prospective ministers and job seekers, suddenly converted party members, volunteers, EC, ECOWAS, CODEO, AU and what have you Observer missions, BBC, Joy, GBC, ANN, It would simply be hu there. The number of people who have started trooping there already is mind boggling. But, trust me, it would be the most difficult place to play any tricks, if any side or person even thinks about it

1700hrs on Friday January 7, will mark the end of the penalty shootout. I am wondering how many polling stations would be open that day.

once again, I ask who will resolve the equation Mills(M+X) = C + NANA(N+Y). knowing that X + Y is less than or equal to 55,000 or thereabouts.

I end with just one concern - how ready is either side to accept the casting ballot equivalent of Tain Constituency. I look forward to either side being ready to do the nation the honours in this regard.

A New Year's eve looms up without clarity of the finality of the choice of Ghanaians. Let us Pray!!

Good night


Bla Elik

No comments: